The Interactive Introverts and I
by charlottek7k7
Summary: Charlotte Berks is best friends with popular YouTubers Dan Howell (Daniel Howell) and Phil Lester (AmazingPhil). She is hidden from the Phangirls because of how crazy they are, but Charlotte, Dan and Phil can still be friends. Especially at the end of 2017. Right?
1. Chapter 1-Mario Kart and Chill

**This is my first Phanfiction. It's also a my first fic that is going to have chapters. I hope you like it! Constructive feedback is always appreciated** **! Here we go!** **This takes place in December, 2017, by the way!**

 **Also, sorry for the long story intro... Enjoy!**

o.0.O.0.o

 **Chapter 1 - Mario Kart and Chill**

When I was twelve, my eighteen year old brother Tom was friends with a boy named Philip Lester. Phil would often come over to our house, and he was really nice. He gave me hugs all the time, and he became like my second brother.

Even after my brother stopped talking to him, Phil would still talk to me. When he was nineteen, he started a YouTube channel called AmazingPhil. I watched all of his videos all the time, and never grew tired of them. He was really funny to watch. And if I had questions about it, I would call Phil up and ask him. We never lost contact with each other.

Eventually, after about three and a half years, when Phil was twenty two, he started collaborating with an eighteen year old boy named Daniel Howell. At first, I was unsure about him, but two years later, when I was nineteen, I visited Phil when Dan had moved in with him, and I met him. Dan was actually really nice and funny, and we became friends instantly.

Now, I'm twenty two, Dan is twenty six and Phil is thirty. I visit their flat almost daily because we're such good friends. They have even given me a spare key to their flat. Their friend Louise says she's their mum and I'm their second mum, meaning we keep them out of trouble, but to be honest, I'm more of their sister, meaning I help them do naughty things and make it look like they didn't do anything.

My name is Charlotte Berks, and I've been friends with Daniel Howell and Philip Lester for what seems like forever.

o.0.O.0.o

I'm standing at their door, fishing through my jean pocket for the spare key that the boys gave me. I eventually find it and unlock the door. Dan and Phil are both nowhere to be seen, which isn't a surprise. They spend most of their time in their rooms, editing videos, watching videos. Dan sometimes reads fanfiction and looks at fanart. I decide to check his room first. He's lying on his bed, computer on his lap while he lies in his browsing position. His hair is curly and I'm still not used to it. He only posted the video that announced that he rebranded a few months ago, and I'm still surprised. But I won't lie, his hobbit hair is quite attractive, or what the Danosaurs and Phangirls call it, cute.

"Phil, I can hear your breathing—" he says and looks up. He's surprised to see me staring at him, but he smiles. "Charlotte!" He stands up and, putting his lap top down beside him, gives me a big, tight hug. I've always loved Dan's hugs. They're always tight and protective, like a shield or shelter. He makes me feel like nothing will hurt me. Phil's hugs, however, are also lovely. But they're different. They're neither protective nor shielding. They're more healing, like he'll be there for me after I've gone through something. I love both of their hugs, but Dan's are my favorite.

I pull away from Dan and grin, straightening my top. "You promised me a rematch at Mario Kart so I can kick your rear end." I punch him in the shoulder.

He and I race to the gaming room and he signs into the Nintendo Switch. I play as my Mii, which he calls boring. It looks like me. Shoulder length, black coloured hair, brown eyes and a black shirt. Dan plays as Inkling Girl, and we battle. I end up winning again and Dan groans.

"It's okay, Dan," I say, grinning, as I pat his shoulder. "Everyone loses sometimes. Now let's go browse the internet in your room, on your bed, while eating crisps, yeah?"

We end up doing just that, but I've stolen Dan's computer and am scrolling through Tumblr while he uses his phone.

"Dan, look at this utterly adorable GIF of you and Phil at TATINOF," I say, grinning and turning the computer to him. It's from the YouTube Red recording, where Phil has to do an impression of Dan, and just recreates the introduction of 'Hello Internet'. I've seen the recording and so many edits and GIFs from it, but I was unable to see the performance live.

The thing is, Dan and Phil invited me to tour with them. Well, Dan did. Phil already knew why I couldn't, and the look of disappointment on Dan's face when I told him I couldn't was almost unbearable. I had University and couldn't skip a single day of it. I offered to see their show in London, but just the week before the show, my brother Tom was biking with his girlfriend—now wife—and he got hit by a car. I had to stay at the hospital that night and couldn't see the show. But every night other than around that week, I would Skype Dan and Phil. They gave me a tour of their tour bus with Skype and told me about all of the amazing things they had seen while traveling North America.

One night, I was talking to Dan on Skype while they were in what I think was Minnesota. Phil had already gone to bed from being too tired. At one point, I somehow started crying, but quietly enough that Dan couldn't hear. My lights were dim enough that he shouldn't have been able to see. I missed Dan and I missed Phil, and it was the first time I had talked to them in over a week since I had had to spend time with Tom at the hospital. I was stressed out about that and homework, and I always was at school. It was so hard to talk to Dan and Phil since they were almost my only friends, and they would be gone for a long time. But I ended up being fine.

"I'm sad that you couldn't see us perform," Dan says, peering at the GIF, visibly cringing as Phil does the hand motions to mimic Dan's first YouTube video. "It was fun, but it would have been a lot more fun if you had come with us."

"I know," I say, hands in my lap. I knew it a long time ago. "It would have been fun. But I had to finish University."

Dan laughed nervously. "But you've finished Uni now. You can come watch Interactive Introverts next year. Maybe we can get them to give you a free front row seat? Or a backstage pass? A backstage pass won't be hard for us to get you."

He's trying too hard. We're just friends, nothing special. He doesn't have to give me a two hundred dollar seat for free. "Dan, that's unreasonable," I tell him, laughing. "I'll buy myself a seat. I'll watch you and Phil have your fun." His face falls slightly. "Dan, I promise I'll come. It'll be fine."

We hear footsteps outside of the room and the door opens, revealing Phil in his Nyan Cat shirt. He sees me and waves.

"Hi Charlotte," he says, a grin plastered across his face like always. One amazing thing about him is that almost nothing can bring Phil down. Even when he's down, he's good at thinking of bringing other people's happiness at the same time because it makes him happy when others are happy. "Do you want to stay over for dinner and a movie?" I nod eagerly.

"Of course!"


	2. Chapter 2-Sleepy Times and Goodbyes

**This one is a little shorter than the first, but I hope people still enjoy it!**

o.0.O.0.o

 **Chapter 2 - Sleepy Times and Goodbyes**

Dan makes us a delicious stir fry and we eat it while watching Gotham on Netflix. The three of us are on the couch, empty plates on the coffee table. Dan is on my right and Phil is on my left. If I wanted, I could hug them both at once, but I'm too tired and too weak. I feel myself nodding off and the room goes dark.

I wake up curled in Dan's bed. The black, grey and white checkered covers are pulled over my shoulder, and I look around the room for Dan. He is sitting at his computer, doing what seems like editing a video. I groggily stand up and, keeping Dan's blankets draped over my shoulders like a cape, I walk over to him.

"What time is it?" I ask him and he turns.

"Five forty-three," Dan says, running a hand through his fringe. He's tired even though it's barely even night yet.

"Oh, I have to go soon," I say, biting my lip. Dan tilts his head at me curiously, asking why. I usually stay at their house until late at night. Sometimes I even sleep over. But I can't tonight. "I forgot to tell you. I'm going to visit my brother's family. My mum will be there. I'll be gone for a week and a half, but I can Skype you and Phil if you want."

Dan looks sad. "Yeah, I'll Skype you. Tell Tom I said hi, yeah? Let me walk you to the door."

"Thanks," I say, leaving the room. He and I go to the lounge. Phil is there, and I tell him goodbye as I slip on my shoes, giving both boys a last hug.

"See you when you come back, yeah?" Phil asks, pulling me tight against his chest. I hug him back and nod. I hated it when they left me to go on their tour. I didn't hate them for it, but I missed them. I remember the day they left. I was there, watching as their tour bus departed. Now it's my turn to leave them, and I still am going to miss them. I already feel that pit in my stomach. I'm glad I'll get to Skype them.

"Do you want us to meet you at the airport when you come back?" Dan asks me, pulling me into an even tighter hug.

"No, it's fine," I say. "See you later."

Then I go.

I'm going to the airport in the morning. I have to go to sleep early so that I can wake up early to take a cab to catch the flight to St Paul, Minnesota at five thirty in the morning. I'll see my brother for the first time in half of a year, since he moved to the United States of America half a year ago with his wife, Tami, and their six year old daughter Bethany. Mum will be there, too, to celebrate Christmas. Dad is somewhere. Who knows where, though. I haven't seen him since I was twelve.

I'll return home and be able to celebrate New Year's with Dan and Phil. I know that they're having a party the night of New Year's eve. All of their YouTube friends will be there, and I insisted on staying home, but eventually, Dan convinced me to go. Louise will be there at least. She's a great friend.

I'm home and I realize how much I'll miss Dan and Phil. This is going to be a long week and a half away from them, isn't it?


	3. Chapter 3-Sad Songs and Skype

**This, Chapter 3, is a bit longer than the last one. Please enjoy it! :3**

o.0.O.0.o

 **Chapter 3 - Sad Songs and Skype**

"Charlotte, you must be lonely without a boyfriend or any friends at all," Mum says, dumping a pile of mashed potatoes onto my plate. She makes the best mashed potatoes in the world. Across the table, Bethany, my six year old niece, stabs her mashed potatoes with her spoon.

"Mum, I'm not lonely," I snap back. "I have friends. Dan and—"

"He doesn't even have a job, honey," Mum interrupts, not looking at me. Meanwhile, my sister in law Tami scolds Bethany for playing with her food. Tom, meanwhile, calmly eats his food. "Now eat, Charlotte. You haven't touched your mashed potatoes, and you love my mashed potatoes."

"YouTube counts as a job, Mum." I twirl my spoon in the mashed potatoes. Not eating my mashed potatoes, you could say, is a silent protest of some sort in our household. "Dan and Phil make money off of their videos. They've gone on a world tour and have published two books."

"It's not a proper job," Mum says. "You need real friends, anyway. These two boys are just weird. Phil has been since he was a kid. I don't know that Dan boy, though. What do you even like about them?"

"Mum, stop." This is Tom saying this. "We're here to have civilized conversation, not fight. It's Christmas eve."

We continue to eat in silence, the only sound is Bethany asking her mother what kind of cookies is Santa's favourite. It's really awkward now, but Mum doesn't look sorry while she eats her food. She looks pissed. Extremely pissed. I do what know what she's angry about. All I was doing was defending my friends, and I know words a fact that both Dan and Phil would do the same, not that their mothers would criticize me. They're too nice.

After dinner, I head straight to the guest room where I sleep. All I want to do is talk to Dan and Phil through Skype right now, but Phil is visiting his own mum, and Dan should probably be asleep. Although it's about nine here in Minnesota, it's three in the morning for Dan. I start crying silent tears. My mum is a good mum, but she doesn't understand that Dan and Phil are my friends. She doesn't understand how much they've benefited my life. I cry because I'm angry at her, and I cry because neither Dan nor Phil is here to comfort with their protective, healing hugs. Instead, I take out my computer and start watching Dan and Phil Gamingmas videos.

Eventually, I find myself listening to music on YouTube, still crying. I listen to Sad Song by We The Kings, multiple songs by the band Set It Off, and so many other songs. I don't know why these songs. I like these songs, and I like music. I find myself singing along with the songs, and burst into tears when he sings "I hate your phone calls / in the middle of the day / 'cause all it does is just remind me that my baby is so far away" in the Antonette X Zero Alias remix of I Hate Love by Claude Kelly

As if on cue, my computer dings, announcing an incoming video call from Dan's Skype. Over excited, I press accept. The screen displays Dan's smiling face. His eyes are slightly puffy as if he's been crying, or more likely staying up until three in the morning. His hobbit hair is rather curly and he's wearing his camouflage shirt, covering his hands up to his fingers. He looks cozy, and his smile is so big that his dimples are showing.

"Hey, beautiful," I tease, wiping the tears from my face. "Merry Christmas to you."

"Hey, gorgeous," he replies. His facial expression grows worried suddenly as he leans in to get a better look at the screen. "Are you crying? What happened? Do you need something?"

"No Dan, it's fine," I say, sniffing and rubbing my tear-streaked cheeks and puffy eyes. "You must be really lonely with me gone. Now you know how I felt during TATINOF, except you have Phil."

This makes Dan laugh, but he knows I'm changing the subject. He sure as heck is not convinced that I'm fine like I said. I can see it on his face. The worry hasn't left at all, and his face morphs from joyous to serious.

"Why are you crying, Charlotte?" His face is the most stern I've seen in a long time, and it's slightly intimidating. I sniffle again and look down at my fidgeting fingers.

"My mum says that I need real friends or a boyfriend or something stupid," I mumble. "She says you and Phil are weird and YouTube isn't a job and she asked me why I like you and Phil." I glance up at the screen. Dan isn't looking at the screen. He's looking down at his lap, biting his lip like he's thinking or contemplating something deeply.

"Charlotte . . ." he mumbles, "if you don't want to hang out with us because of what your family thinks, that's—"

"Dan, shut up," I interrupt. I know what he's trying to say and I know he doesn't want it, and I don't want it. "Daniel James Howell, I've known you for three years and Phil for like ten. You two are my best friends, if not my only friends. You introduced me to Louise, my only other friend. I'm not going to break that friendship between me and you and Phil just because you don't have a 'real job' or the fact that you're 'weird'. I hope we never break our friendship. Got it?"

Dan's face lights up like the sun, happy that I care so much about him and Phil. When he's happy like this, he looks like what the Phangirls call 'squishy' ad what I call 'so damn adorable'. But yes, I do understand what the Phangirls mean when they call Dan 'squishy'. When he's 'squishy', his dimples are so prominent. Each time he looks like that, he looks like he's having the most fun he's ever had, so I'm always proud to make him 'squishy'.

"Yeah, got it," Dan says. Maybe it's the lighting, but his cheeks seem to glow a light pink. "I know it's not midnight for you yet, but can I stay up with you until it is? So I can wish you Merry Christmas? Phil has gone to sleep already, just so you know."

I laugh and blush. "It'll be six in the morning for you by that time, Daniel. It's not really a good, healthy idea for you. You'll mess up sleep schedule."

Dan shrugs and says, "I don't mind. I'd stay as late as you need. Plus, I don't have many plans tomorrow until the evening. My best friends are all out of town except for Phil. You, Louise . . . I can sleep in if need."

"Okay then, Howell."

We stay up for hours, chatting about various things. We talk about my family, about his life without me and Phil. We talk about YouTube and memes. He seems to grow happier by the second. I often ask Dan a if he is tired, just in case he can't survive until six. He always answers that he was fine.

Eventually, it becomes eleven fifty-nine. Dan and I stare expectantly at the clock. Then, it becomes midnight. December twenty-fifth. Christmas. Dan smiles and puts his hand on the screen.

"Merry Christmas, Charlotte."

I put my hand on the screen so that it is over where his hand is, and we're virtually palm to palm. "Merry Christmas, Dan. Now go to bed, you silly Bear. See you in two days when I come home."

When Dan's gone, I'm still not tired. I think about all those times Dan and Phil and I were separated. Their tour, basically every Christmas, every YouTube convention, most holidays. The lyrics to I Hate Love run through my head.

I hate goodbyes / I hate these tears in my eyes / I hate myself for the way I feel about you every time.


	4. Chapter 4-Christmas Gifts and Tickets

**Chapter 4 - Christmas Gifts and Tickets**

I drag my suitcase behind me and descend the stairs, pushing my black hair out of my face. I'll have to head home right away, shower, change, and then go and visit Dan and Phil. I promised them I'd see them right when I got back. When I reach the bottom of the steps, I see the two most amazing people standing tall, waiting for me.

As soon as I can, I run into Dan's arms and hug him tight. He's wearing his black winter coat and fuzzy hat. I must have been gone long, because Dan feels taller. He's not, though.

"Dan, I told you you didn't have to come pick me up," I say, squirming out of his grip. He's grinning wildly, like he's so happy. And I know I'm happy. I've returned, finally seeing my best friends after a week and half apart. I then give Phil a hug.

"I know," Dan says, taking my suitcase from me and leading me outside so we can take a cab. "We wanted to come. I'm lonely without you, remember?" He gives me a lopsided grin, which I return.

We took a cab to Dan and Phil's flat, the ride filled with laughter and jokes from the three of us.

"Have you seen our Gamingmas videos yet?" he asks. We're lying on the bed side by side, his computer on his lap and my phone in my hand. Phil has gone shopping for dinner, so it's just Dan and me again.

"Of course. You and Phil played Yasuhati last. You played Tattletail, Charades twice," I say. "It was all I could do to survive there."

"It couldn't have been that bad," Dan says, letting out a chuckle. "You got to see your niece. That's nice. You excited for the New Year's Party?"

I stare down at my phone's empty screen. "Yeah. Do I have to go?"

"Why do you do that?" Dan gives me a look. "You say you don't want to go every year, and every year, you come. You enjoy it. But don't you ever want to go?"

"Dan . . ." I trail off, trying to find the right words. "The parties are fun. But everyone there is a YouTuber. There are two problems. Firstly, I know very few of them, and I'll just end up standing on the side and watching everyone else have fun.

"Second thing, I'm you and Phil's friend. I love the two of you. But vloggers will be there and who knows if I'll be seen in a video vlog, some random girl at Dan and Phil's party. And I know that it's okay to you, but you know how much those Phangirls ship Phan and are willing to destroy anyone who gets in the way of Phan, emotionally or physically. And I don't want to be caught up in that as Dan or Phil's potential girlfriend that Phangirls are willing to kill."

Dan looked at me. "I'll make sure that that doesn't happen, and if it does, everything will be fine. But you have to come, okay?"

I let out a heavy sigh. "Maybe. I'll think about it."

We hear the front door swing open suddenly, making me jump a bit.

"Hey guys!" It's Phil. I get off of the bed to go greet him, but Dan stays in his room.

The three of us end up lying on the couch again, eating spaghetti while watching Home Alone for the Christmas spirit. After that, Dan, Phil and I stop the movie and start our gift exchange. We do this every year. We buy each other presents and then sit in a circle and give them to each other and just chat. Some might say it's boring, but I don't think so. I remember doing it with Phil and my brother, ten years ago. And when I met Dan, we started doing it with him.

"Who wants to start this time?" Dan asks. He and Phil both had already ran to grab their gift bags from their respective rooms. My bag was in my suitcase because I bought things from Minnesota. The three of us sat in a circle, legs crossed, dressing Christmas jumpers, with our bags in our laps.

"I can," Phil says, patting his blue bag that is the size of his head. "I got this for you, Dan." It's an almost life-sized Shiba Inu stuffed animal. When Phil pulls it out of the bag, Dan's eyes widen in surprise.

"Woah," Dan says as he grabs it from Phil and places it in his lap. He pets it and does that high pitched voice he has whenever he speaks to cute things like babies, puppies or even that koala he met in Australia. "Hello! Hello there."

"What'll you name it?" I ask him, grinning as he hugs it affectionately.

"Your mum," he fires back automatically, making both Phil and I laugh.

"And for you, Charlotte, I've got . . ." Phil reaches into the bag and pulls out a large box of chocolates the size of his head. "Chocolate!"

"Holy God, that's a lot of chocolate," Dan says from next to me as I take it.

"Thanks Phil," I say, peering at the box and comparing the size of the box to various things in arms reach. "I'll have to enlist both you and Dan to help me finish it all."

"Alright, my turn," Dan says, taking out his bag. It's quite smaller than the bag Phil had, but I expect the value to be no less. "Phil, this is for you. Funny how it's basically the same as what you got Charlotte," he continues, grinning, as he pulls out another box of chocolates, slightly smaller than the one Phil got me.

Phil smiles and puts his arms up. "Yay!" he says in his high pitched voice before taking the box from Dan and placing it beside him.

"Charlotte, I got you this because I know you love cats!" Dan says. He hands me the most adorable stuffed black cat in the world. It's the size of a baby kitten, with the ears sticking up and bright orange eyes.

"Oh my God!" I take it and cuddle it. I can hear Dan chuckling, watching me hug this gift from him. "It's so cute! I love it, Dan, thank you so much!"

"Look at the collar," Dan says. I look, and the cat does indeed have a collar. A little pouch hangs from it and curiously, I open it. There, inside of the pouch, is a slip that says, in Dan's messy handwriting that I can somehow always read, 'Charlotte, I got you VIP, front row tickets to Interactive Introverts'.

"Dan?" I say, staring at it. "Does this say . . . ?" Dan nods at me. "How much did this cost you?"

"Well, they wouldn't let us get you a free ticket, but Phil and I both paid for it for you together. But you can also come with us during the tour in the bus, you know, and travel the world with us."

"Daniel James Howell, you silly turnip. I told you already that you didn't have to," I scold him, but I still can not contain my smile. "But thank you so much. Okay, my turn to give gifts. I'm sorry my gifts aren't as grand as you guys gave me, but Phil, I got you a booklet of stickers to stick around the flat and a stuffed lion." I hold up the lion for him to take. It's about as big as the cat Dan gave me. The mane is super fluffy and soft .Phil takes it eagerly.

"Oh my God, this lion is so big and cute and soft and fluffy!" It is indeed. "Dan, I'm going to start putting stickers on everything!" Dan groans and laughs.

"And Dan," I say. "I got you a bag of Maltesers and a stuffed llama. Sorry, I know you rebranded, but I know you still like these." I hand him the Maltesers and the llama, which is about as big as Phil's lion, maybe a bit bigger.

"Now I have a small amount of candy and two stuffed animals," Dan says placing the Shibe on one leg and the llama on the other. "Oh, Maltesers. Memories. What should I name the llama? I'll ask the fans during my next liveshow."

"Yeah," I say.

I take out my phone and check the time. It's ten thirty-seven. Some might say that that's not that late, but Dan, Phil and I have many other fun things planned for the night, like a few karaoke battles. Luckily, Phil is thinking the same thing as me.

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" he asks. "We can celebrate late, and we know how you hate traveling after midnight."

"Sure," I reply. Indeed I do dislike traveling between eleven at night and five in the morning. There are some creepy people out there, and as a young girl in her early twenties, it's reasonable to be afraid to go out at dark.

"I can sleep on the sofa if you want my bed," Dan kindly suggests. I shake my head.

"No, Dan, that's your bed. I'll take the sofa."

"Are you sure?" Dan asks. I nod. "Fine by me. Now, shall we start with some karaoke?"


	5. Chapter 5-Fun and Existential Discussion

**Chapter 5 - Fun and Existential Discussion**

We decided to have the karaoke battles in Dan's room, a computer and speaker thrown on his bed. What we did was two people chose a song and the third person had to sing it. The two people would rank it out of five, although none of us have received below a three. It's sort of a silent rule between the three of us. hoever won when all three of us got an equal amount of chances would win overall.

For the first round, Dan and Phil would chose the song for me to sing. After a minute of whispering, Dan announced it to me.

"Toxic by Britney Spears."

I try not to laugh. I love this song, and I know Dan does, too. He loves singing the first part, the "Baby, can't you see", and always teases Phil because he can't do it right. He's even tried to teach Phil to do it, but was very unsuccessful. Once, Dan heard me singing it and apparently I did it right, because he made me try to teach Phil. Still, I was unsuccessful. I know one of Dan's favourite things is hearing me singing this song, because I do it right.

"Baby can't you see / I'm calling / A guy like you should wear a warning/ It's dangerous / I'm falling . . ."

After I've finished song, Dan holds up a five on the sheet of paper with a big smile. Phil follows suit. Now, Dan and I pick a song for Phil. We choose Till The World Ends, also by Britney Spears. Phil gets a four and a half from Dan and a four and three fourths from me.

Next, it's Dan's turn, and Phil and I end up being forced to choose between I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic! At the Disco and Thnks Fr Th Mmrs by Fall Out Boys. We end up choosing the first option, and Dan earns a four and a half from me and a four from Phil.

After many rounds that include The Internet Is Here sung by Phil, Dan's Diss Track sung by me, Welcome To The Black Parade sung by Dan, My Heart Will Go On sung by Phil, Ryan Higa's Coffee Shop Love sung by me, Ed Sheeran's Perfect sung by Dan, Barbie Girl sung by Phil, and Sleeping With Sirens' Better Off Dead sung by me, we end up giving up the contest and sing for fun. Phil makes me and Dan sing The Phantom of the Opera together, and then it's suddenly one in the morning.

Oddly enough, none of us are tired, so we sit on Dan's bed and begin to chat about random stuff. At some point, Phil and I are teasing Dan for being a Gryffindor while both Phil and I are Hufflepuffs.

"Hufflepuffs are the nice house, yet anyone can be nice," Dan snaps at us.

"Hufflepuffs are loyal," I suggest. "Gryffindors are brave enough to stand you in the back. Also, Gryffindors are impulsive. Being nice requires courage, so anyone can be courageous."

"Gryffindors are loyal, too."

"Guys, it's two in the morning," Phil says, yawning. "I'm going to bed. Good night!"

"Good night," Dan and I both say. Phil leaves the room, and we wait until the lights in the hallway go out and we hear Phil's door slam shut before we resume talking.

"Sleep is for the weak," I mumble, causing Dan to laugh a bit. I face him and tilt my head, examining him like a cell beneath a microscope. "I totally see how you're a Gryffindor. You're so brave. You started YouTube when you were, what? Eighteen? You became best friends and roommates with your 'YouTube Senpai'. You've filmed yourself for years and put it on YouTube for millions of people to see. You've had a stage show that toured the world. You'll have another next year. That's truly impressive. I'm not even remotely that courageous."

Dan laughs, and his face goes a little pink. I know already before he speaks that he'll try to deny it. "Charlotte, I started YouTube because of my friends, not me. I was lucky to befriend Phil. I basically post videos on YouTube to boost my own self confidence. TATINOF was absolutely terrifying, and I bet Interactive Introverts will be, too. I'm not brave."

"Dan, you know part of being brave is doing something that terrifies you," I say. "You were terrified of TATINOF, and you did it. Next is Interactive Introverts. Don't tell me you're not brave. You are the bravest person I know."

"You're brave too," Dan says after a moment of thinking. "Remember when you, Phil and I went skiing, and you went on the highest hill that neither Phil nor I went on? That was really brave. Or that time you tried to write a Phanfic on a dare last year, even though you were afraid of what Phil and I would think? That was pretty brave of you."

"Those don't count," I mumble, just loud enough for him to be able to hear. "Those aren't actually brave. Standing in front of the whole world with just Phil was brave of you. Posting videos of yourself for the entire world to see us brave. Skiing down a hill loads of people ski down isn't brave. Completing a dare in Truth or Dare is not brave."

"Well," Dan says, thinking again, "you're just as much a Hufflepuff as I am a Gryffindor. You're insanely kind. You've never intentionally hurt someone before. I've never seen you be mean to someone. You always help people and try to make others happy, even if at the cost of your own happiness."

"You must be thinking of Phil."

"No," Dan says. "Well, yes. Phil too. But you are all of that and more. You've helped me through countless existential crises."

I nod. I guess he's right. But I still want to deny it. I'm not that kind. I'm just me. Not kind, brave, smart, cunning. Just me. But whatever. I can't be just me. I'm friends with Dan Howell and Phil Lester, two of YouTube's most popular YouTubers.

"It's late, Dan," I say, yawning. "I'm tired."

"Hi Tired, I'm Dan," he says, and I roll my eyes. "Weren't you the one who said that sleep was for the weak?"

"Shut up, Howell," I reply, glaring at him. "I'm going to the couch. Good night."

"Let me get you a blanket before you go to bed." He jumps up and runs ahead of me. When I reach the sofa, there's already a soft pillow and a blanket thrown over it. Dan is standing next to it, looking very proud of himself.

"Thank you, Dan," I say, giving him a small curtsy and sitting down on the couch. I look up at him. "Good night. See you in the morning."


	6. Chapter 6-And A Happy New Year

**Hey! I** **know no one is reading this, but in case you are reading this in the future, I'm warning you of a couple swears in this chapter. Alright, let's get into this!**

o.0.O.0.o

It's been four or five days since that night. Or I guess you could say it was a morning, since Dan and I went to bed around two thirty. Now, I'm back at their flat early in the morning, taping streamers to the ceiling with Phil while Dan and Louise Pentland, another YouTuber friend of ours, goes out to buy balloons. Yes, we are setting up for the YouTuber New Year's Eve party.

Phil and I decided to wear our most party-worthy yet non-formal clothes today. For Phil, that means black jeans and his purple monster shirt with red eyes and a big smile. I picked my clothes for this evening's party, but its not proper to wear while putting up party decorations, so I'm currently wearing a black denim shirt and blue jeans. I'll change into my party outfit when the party starts at nine at night.

I'm standing atop a chair on my tiptoes, and I'm still barely reaching the spot on the ceiling that I need to tape one end of the 'Happy New Year' banner to. Phil, however, is on a chair, not on his tiptoes, not reaching far, and is forced to duck down to tape his end of the banner up. Curse his and Dan's height, I think.

When I finally manage to get it up, I sigh and step down from the chair. I've helped set up every year for the past few years, and the decoration plan hasn't changed except for some new houseplants lying around the house every year.

"Charlotte!" I turn to hear the front door slam shut and see Louise running towards me. Her light coloured curls cascade over her shoulders like a waterfall, and her smile is about as bright as Phil's often is.

"Louise!" I say, hugging her.

"Are you excited for tonight's party?" she asks me.

"Absolutely," I answer. In reality, I'm still quite paranoid, but Dan has convinced me to be more enthusiastic than before. But who knows what hell will come if Phangirls notice me in the background of a vlog or photograph of tonight.

I look over Louise's shoulder to see Dan talking to Phil. He's wearing his ripped black jeans and Totoro shirt. He and Phil are searching through a paper bag next to him, and Phil has an un-inflated balloon in his hand. He blows it up until it's as big as his head and the colour of the summer sky.

"Let's set up music and snacks," Louise says next to me. "Those two are going to finish decorating."

o.0.O.0.o

Louise and I are stood in Dan's room in front of the mirror. She had just helped me get my outfit ready for the party, which I think was unreasonable due to the fact that the party is not exactly formal. Still, I love my outfit. A cute, short yellow dress that just reaches my knees. There is a bow on the back if the dress. I wear cute, white shoes and a little yellow flower pin in my hair. I've never been one for make-up, but Louise still put some stuff on my face.

"Louise, is this necessary?" I ask, twirling a bit in the dress. I don't often wear dresses, so even though the dress itself isn't very fancy, I still feel extremely formal.

"Of course it is, Charlotte," she says, peering over my shoulder at my reflection. "Now come on. Let's go. Guests are already arriving."

When I enter the hall with Louise, the lights are off, leaving the flat dimly lit. The only lights I can see are coming from the kitchen and lounge. When we reach the lounge, I see Dan and Phil talking in the corner to fellow YouTubers Catrific and Tyler Oakley. While scanning the room, I see Anthony Padilla, Joey Graceffa, Connor Franta and many other YouTubers, some of which I don't recognize.

"Charlotte!" I turn and Dan is calling. He's wearing a black jacket over his white moth-shirt and black jeans. He looks really good right now, I have to admit, but I immediately push that thought aside.

"Hi Cat. Hi Tyler," I say, grinning, as Louise and I join them, so that Dan is on my left and Cat is on Louise's right. I've never really loved Cat. Not that I hate her, but she certainly isn't my favourite person. But she's nice when she tries. However, I've noticed her ignore Phil while filming with him and Dan.

"Hey Charlotte," Cat says, smiling and handing me a cup of Ribena. "You look lovely today . . . well, tonight."

"Thanks Cat. So do you," I say. She does look great. She's wearing a normal shirt and pair of jeans, and yet looks really nice. Tyler, wearing his white and black striped shirt and black jeans, also is looking really nice.

"Are you excited for the new year, Charlotte?" Tyler asked as I took a sip from my cup before cringing. I haven't had Ribena in a while, so the taste is slightly surprising. Dan introduced it to me once, a few years ago. I grow used to the taste fast.

"Yeah," I say, taking another sip. "There are loads of things to look forward to in the new year. Interactive Introverts is going to be great, yeah?"

"I hope so," Dan says, laughing a bit. "Probably not, though." I lightly punch him in the arm and he laughs.

"Of course it'll be great," says Phil from across the circle. "Why wouldn't it be? TATINOF was successful."

"So Charlotte," Cat says, ignoring Phil, who doesn't seem to notice. "Are you going to kiss anyone when it becomes twenty eighteen? You know, New Year's kiss?"

"No," I answer with a frown. I haven't ever had a New Year's kiss, although I've heard that they're a thing. Heck, I've never had a boyfriend before, much less any kiss.

"Are you still single?" she asks, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Yes."

"That's enough," Dan interrupts. I feel relieved. I've never felt bad about being single, but her pressing questions still suffocate me. "Cat, how was Christmas for you? Did you go anywhere?"

"Yeah, actually."

Dan, Phil, Louise, Tyler, Cat and I continued to talk for about another hour. At about ten thirty, Phil and I decided to go to the snack table together while the other four continued talking. The two of us ended up sharing three plates of candy, fruits and more desserts we eat in the kitchen, talking about random things.

"Are you enjoying the party?" Phil asks. I nod and take another small sip of Ribena. I'm sitting on top of the kitchen counter, Phil at my right, leaning against it. The three plates of snacks are between us

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Dan told me that you didn't want to come. Plus, don't think I don't notice you at the other years' parties. You try to stay as far off to the side as possible. It's like you're hiding from something."

I sigh. Phil is one of my best friends. He's a lovely person. He's one of the kindest people I know. I've mentioned this before. And yet, he is still a child at heart in a way. And I have to explain to him why I was less than enthusiastic. So I do, the way I explained to Dan a week ago. I tell him about what Dan had said, that they wouldn't approve if their fans were hateful of anything as little as another friend.

"Oh," Phil mutters, staring straight ahead as if he's thinking. "It's reasonable for you to think that. But I agree with Dan. You shouldn't let something like that prevent you from coming to a party."

"I suppose so," I mumble, taking out my phone. "Look at the time. Eleven fifty-three. Almost a new year."

"Hey." I turn to see Dan coming over, and I smile, hopping off of the counter. He still has cup of Ribena in hand. It must be his fifth or sixth cup "What, are you two eating snacks without me? Not fair." He grabs the last chocolate strawberry from the plate and takes a bite.

"Wow, this is really good," Dan announces, moaning. I laugh a little bit and he leans against the counter next to Phil. "I was just thinking, Charlotte, what if I . . . filmed a video with you in it?"

"Dan, are you drunk?" I ask.

"Maybe a little, but that's beside the point. Just what if?"

"Dan," I say. "Did you not hear me last week? If you and Phil's Phangirls see me, who knows what'll happen? They'd get angry if one of you gets a girlfriend and she 'gets in the way of Phan', and they get really aggressive if they see another girl who isn't another YouTuber in one of your videos or pictures. So no."

"C'mon," he mutters. "If not now, someday? I hate to have you hiding behind the camera all the time. You're like some dark, hidden secret."

"Dan, I—"

Cat suddenly appears behind Dan. She's smiling, and Louise and Tyler follow close behind.

"Guys, let's take a group picture!" Cat suggests.

Instinctively, I move to be behind the camera. Dan, Phil, Louise, Tyler and Cat all pose for the picture, Dan with his classic peace sign. I relax after that picture is taken, but before I can protest, Cat grabs my wrist and pulls me in between Dan and Phil. Shocked and slightly scared, I grab Phil's wrist.

"Say Happy New Year!" she sings before she takes the picture.

I pray to God that Cat doesn't post the picture. She doesn't know about my fear of the Phandom, and part of me thinks that she'll think it's unreasonable if I do tell her. In fact, Dan and Phil are the only ones who know.

Phil gives my hand a little squeeze to comfort me.

"It's okay, Charlotte," he whispers into my ear. I calm a little, but not enough.

o.0.O.0.o

I'm not completely drunk. I know that for sure. I've only downed two or three glasses of champagne. Maybe four. But the room is darker than before. Just a little. I'm going to be hungover tomorrow morning, aren't I? Whatever.

Why did I do this again? Stress, right? From what? Homework? No, school ended and while ago. Never mind. It doesn't matter.

I'm standing between Dan and Phil, and I feel loads shorter than usual. Maybe its because I'm standing between these two giants. Then the countdown begins, everyone shouting at once.

"Ten!"

I cover my ears, surprised at the sound.

"Nine!"

My head throbs.

"Eight!"

I uncover my ears and grab Dan and Phil's hands..

"Seven!"

I join in the shouting.

"Six!"

I make eye contact with Phil while we both chant.

"Five!"

The throbbing in my head intensifies.

"Four!"

I feel faint in my and lower my voice.

"Three!"

I have to take my hands back from Dan and Phil to clutch my head.

"Two!"

I feel extremely suffocated.

"One!"

I feel the room rocking.

"Happy New Year!"

Shit.


	7. Chapter 7-The Attacc and They Protecc

**Hey. Just to let you guys know, I am so sencerely sorry for the title. But I wasn't creative enough to make a good title for this one. But ignore the title and enjoy the fic!**

o.0.O.0.o

 **Chapter 7 - The Attacc and They Protecc**

I wake up, once again, in Dan's bed. I sit up and clutch my head. I must have been really drunk yesterday to have such a bad headache now. With one hand keeping my head steady, I look around the room. Dan isn't anywhere around. I frown and realize I'm still in my dress from the party. I'm glad that neither Dan nor Phil nor anyone else changed me into other clothing, but the dress smells like sweat and champagne. Not a nice thing to wake up to.

The door to the room creaks open and Dan walks in. He has a towel wrapped around his waist and another around his neck. I quickly look down to divert my eyes. I've seen him without a shirt before, at pools and such, but in a situation like this, it seems appropriate to look away.

"Good morning, Charlotte," he says, walking over to his wardrobe. He grabs his No-Face shirt and a pair of baggy pants and hands them to me. "Go take a shower and change into these. Don't worry, they're clean."

"Thanks," I mumble.

I walk to the bathroom and turn on the shower. I wash myself and get out, drying myself with a towel and changing into the clothes Dan gave me. The No-Face shirt is so big, it goes down to my knees, but I don't mind. I return to Dan's room, and he's changed into the torn, black jeans and that one weird shirt. You know, the maroon shirt with a green chest pocket, dark one sleeve and bright red the other. That shirt.

"Thank you for the clothes. And also letting me sleep in your bed in a not weird way. How drunk was I last night?" I ask him. He shrugs.

"Drunk enough to let me carry you and tuck you into bed," Dan replies, smiling. His sad dimple starts to show.

"I must have been really drunk," I mutter. "Thanks for that, though."

"Phil is making breakfast," he says. "You have to stay for the Delia Smith pancakes before you go home."

"All right."

We go to the lounge, which is surprisingly clean. I sit on a chair at the counter. Dan is on his phone, saying something to Phil who is next to him. When Phil presents the pancakes to me, Dan presses his lips together. He hands Phil his phone and looks at me.

"Charlotte, remember what happened at the party last night?" Phil asks, looking down at the phone and then back at me.

"Be specific. Loads of things happened last night."

"Picture. You, me, Dan, Tyler, Louise, Cat. Remember?" Phil asks. I tense, the memories flooding in fast, and I recall our awkward selfie of six people.

"Shit. Yeah? What about that picture?" I ask. Dan gives me a look from behind Phil, his expression showing extreme concern and I already know what Phil is going to say before he says it. I shut my eyes tight and look down.

"Cat posted that picture on Twitter." Phil is right in front of me, and yet his voice sounds miles away. Mostly because I'm muttering 'no' under my breath repeatedly.

"We didn't see until this morning. Are you okay?" I stop muttering under my breath and look at Phil's chest. I can't meet his or Dan's eyes.

"Yeah," I lie. "I'm fine. Listen, thanks for the pancakes, but I just remembered that there's something I have to do at home. See you two later." Without another word, I go to Dan's room and grab my clothes. Keeping my head down, I slip on my shoes and jacket and leave. Neither if the boys stop me, but I can feel at least one pair of eyes burning into my lift .

I take the tube home. When I get there, I take the up to my flat. It's much smaller than Dan and Phil's. My flat has two rooms. The bedroom attached to the bathroom and the kitchen attached to the living room. I enter my bedroom and slam the door shut.

In an urgency, I check Cat's Twitter. The picture shows Louise, Cat and Tyler in the front row, smiling widely. Behind them are Dan, Phil and I. If I look close enough, it looks like I'm holding Phil's hand. I recall grabbing his hand in shock, but in the picture, I don't look afraid.

I look down at the replies to this Tweet. I'm already scared of what the comments will be:

@catrific, @danielhowell, @AmazingPhil, wtf who is that girl holding Phil's hand??? is it your girlfriend phil??

@catrific, @danielhowell, @AmazingPhil, is she going to get between Dan and Phil? My smol bean and tol meme?

@catrific, @danielhowell, @AmazingPhil, why the fuck is that random girl at the YouTuber party? She isn't one, why is she there holding Phil's hand? Is she his girlfriend?

I shut my phone off and bury my head in my knees. I knew this would happen. I shouldn't have gone this year. This is exactly what I was afraid of. I told Dan and Phil, but now there's nothing that can be done. Sitting there in tears, back to my peeling bedroom door, in Dan's clothes, I realize how much of a mess my life is. My dad is somewhere. My mum hates my best friends, who I happen to rely on.

My phone suddenly buzzes in my hand. Dan's name is displayed at the top of the screen over a photo of his smiling face from back when he still had his fringe. I hesitate, but then I click answer and put the phone to my ear.

"Charlotte, are you okay? Phil and I are really sorry. You don't need to worry, everything is fine. Are you okay?" Dan speaks so fast, like whenever he's agitated. I almost want to hug him through the screen.

"Dan, I saw the replies on the post." Dan stays silent. "I'm okay, but your fans aren't okay with this. I told you this was what was going to happen."

"I'm sorry about this, Charlotte. I really am," he says, and I almost feel comforted. "Hold on. Open the door, will you?" I hear a knock on the door to my flat. I get up and run out of my room to my front door. Dan and Phil are both there, both looking sad.

Suddenly, I'm between them. Group hugs. The only thing better than getting a hug from either Dan or Phil is the rare Dan and Phil group hug. When they release me, I sniff and wipe my tear stained face.

"It'll all be okay," Dan says in his low, comforting voice. "No matter what they say, we'll always be your friends. We'll protect you. Got it?"

"Uh huh," I say.

Dan and Phil are my best friends. They are everyone's best friends. I'm glad that they're my friends. They'll protect me no matter what happens. I know that. I love them both so much. Their friendships with me mean so much, and not just because I survive off of them. Dan is my protective, brave Gryffindor, and Phil is my healing, defensive Hufflepuff.


	8. Chapter 8-Livestream and Phangirls

**Hello! Sorry for not posting! For y'all impatient children, all twelve chapters of this fic are out on my Tumblr, @charlottek7k7! But I'll try to post them all on here tonight!**

o.0.O.0.o

 **Chapter 8 - Livestream and Phangirls**

". . . yeah, and as you all know, we just had this New Year's Eve party. It was pretty great. 'I wish I was there,' said Laura Schultz. Well . . ."

I hear Dan on his liveshow all the way from the other side of the flat. I'm hanging out with Phil in his bedroom, but these two boys always leave doors open. So both Dan and Phil's bedroom doors are open.

A funny thing, though, is that I am currently on YouNow, watching the livestream myself. Dan is wearing his grey and black sweater, reading the comments the watchers were posting. Some of them catch my eye, mentioning me, the 'girl in the picture', but I do my best to ignore them.

Cat had ended up taking the picture down from her Twitter after she saw all of the replies, as well as Dan texting her what the situation was on our side, but so many people had already seen it that it makes no difference. But Phil told me not to worry about it, So I try my best.

". . . Cat's Tweet. She's not a YouTuber, but she's a really good friend of me and Phil's," Dan is saying. I know he's talking about me. "First, there is no romance between Phil and her or me and her. So that's cleared out. Second, what does it matter if there is something romantic between one of us and her? Don't bully her or me or Phil about her. She's our friend who came to our party. Phil and I are allowed to have friends that aren't YouTubers. Right? Right."

I feel my chest swell with a little pain. I'm glad Dan is defending me. He's doing a great job. There are many more questions of curiosity than rude comments.

" I—Phanastasia Lestowell says 'what's her name, bring her here'. Well, er, I know she's watching the livestream right now, so hold on," Dan says. He turns away from the camera and I can hear both from his room as well as my computer, "Charlotte! Do you want to come say hello to the livestream? It's totally alright if you don't want to."

I bite the inside of my lip and look up from my screen. Phil is looking at me with concern. Part of me feels like we have some sort of psychic connection, because although he says nothing, I know what he's thinking. That it's my choice, and whatever I'm thinking is the right choice. I shake my head at him, and he nods. He stands and goes to Dan's room. From the computer, I hear what he tells him.

"She said she'd rather not," he says. I watch the screen as Dan nods and Phil exits the room. Seconds later, Phil returns to the room. He flashes me a soft smile, full of sympathy. He understands, now, why I was afraid of this. I have loads of unreasonable fame now, not because of me but because of Dan and Phil.

"Calm down, it's her choice," Dan is saying on the liveshow. He nervously runs his hand through his curly hair and lets out a sigh if exhaustion. "God damn, the chat is exploding. Well, it's late, and that's a good place to end this livestream, so good night and see you again! Bye!"

The livestream cuts to black, but the chat is still going wild. But I am uninterested at what they have to say right now, so I close my computer and stare at a randomly selected point in the wall.

"It'll be okay, Charlotte," Phil says, getting up and pulling me into a tight hug. "The Phandom wouldn't really do something bad to you. Plus, you're just our friend. Once the Phandom realizes that, they'll calm down and accept you."

I laugh a little bit. Even though I wasn't part of the Phandom until after I became friends with Dan, I still understand what the Phangirls are feeling. They want what they think is best for Dan and Phil. I would, too. For both boys, I want them to find someone who really cares about them. The Phandom does, too. They just don't think I'm good enough. They don't know me. They just think that only Dan and Phil are perfect for each other.

"Thanks loads, Phil," I say. He smiles, giving me confidence in myself. Just then, Dan enters the room, looking exhausted.

"I have to go shopping for cereal," Dan says, staring at Phil and running a hand through his hair. "You guys need anything?" Phil shakes head and Dan nods. He leaves just as quickly. I know it's not just me, but Dan is visibly agitated. He has been for the last couple days since the photo was Tweeted out.

"Why do you think Dan is so nervous?" I ask Phil, who shrugs.

"He really cares about you," he answers. "Ever since that picture was posted, he's been really stressed about everything. He avoids Tumblr and Twitter in case he sees something about you. This livestream was his first internet interaction since then."

"What do you think about this?"

Phil furrows his brow and tilts his head. "I feel the same as Dan does, of course. We both will stay your friends, even if it costs us fans. You matter to both of us, and we'll both defend you. You know that, don't you?"

I nod.

"And you know how Dan is. He's stressed out, so he needs some air right now. So give him that room he needs. If you get all on him while he's like this, it'll make things worse. So you can talk to me if you need anything."

Phil is my best friend. And even though I'm not his, I know I'm his second best friend. His best friend is Dan. Dan is also my best friend. They're both my best friend. Yet Phil is often easier to talk to. When Dan is stressed out, he's impossible to talk to. Phil is rarely stressed out. And he listens. He knows when I want to have a conversation, and he knows when I just want him to listen when I just rant.

"Thanks Phil."

That isn't a sarcastic thanks. I am thanking him for the advice, for being there to talk to. I am thanking him for being there for both me and Dan. For being there to hug, to comfort me. I'm just thanking Phil for being Phil.


	9. Chapter 9-Searching and Snuggling

**Chapter 9 - Searching and Snuggling**

Dan still hasn't returned, and it's almost eleven thirty at night. He left about an hour ago to go shopping, right after his liveshow finished. Shopping usually takes him forty-five minutes at most, so where is he?

I'm sitting on his bed, my own computer in my lap. I decide to go and ask Phil if he knows what's up.

"Phil?" I ask, knocking on his door. He looks up, startled. I think he's editing a video. "Phil, has Dan texted or called you?"

Phil shakes his head and glances at the time. "No, he hasn't. He's been gone quite a while, hasn't he?"

"Yeah," I say. "I'm gonna go try to find him, okay?" Phil nods and resumes his work on his computer.

After pulling on my coat, I take the usual walking route to where Dan and Phil usually buy things. My feet grow tired quickly, but I've been texting Dan for the past five minutes and he hasn't responded once. I continue walking when I feel a buzz from my phone. I see Dan's picture and name and immediately lift the phone to my ear.

"Dan?" I ask.

"Hey," I hear him mumbling.

"Where the fuck are you? I've been texting you and you've been gone over an hour!" I don't know if I'm more worried or angry. Probably worried.

"I'm at the park." I realize suddenly that I'm running to the nearest park, the one Dan, Phil and I go frequently.

"Why the everloving-fluff are you at the park?" I ask as I run. Dan's fake swear-words have started stealing away into my mind so much that I use them. "I thought you were going to go shopping?"

I skid to a stop at the park. In the dark night, it's difficult to see because the only things illuminating the park are the lamps, moon and stars. In the distance, I see a bench beneath one of the park lamps. There's a figure with curly hair. Dan. He has his phone to his ear.

A sigh. "I didn't," I hear him whisper from the other end of the phone.

"I see you, Dan. I'm coming over to you right now."

With that, I hang up and run up to him. I stand in front of him, arms crossed, and stare at him. His eyes are red. He looks like he's been crying. Not a lot, but a bit. His eyes are red and slightly puffy. He looks exhausted. I sit next to him.

"Dan, what the heck is wrong with you? Phil and I were worried," I whisper, as if my raised voice will disrupt something. But the only sound besides me is the whistling wind. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay." He runs a hand through his hair. "Sorry. No, I'm not. I'm not fucking okay. Fuck." He looks angry at himself, and I hate to see him like this. I pull him into a tight hug.

"What is it, Dan?" I ask. "Existential crisis? A depression episode? I'm here to help you with anything you need, you know." Dan shakes his head, and he looks really sad.

"No, I can't tell you. You wouldn't be able to do anything about it."

"Daniel James Howell, I will try to help you however I can," I say, gripping his forearm. "Just tell me. Let me try to do something about it."

He mutters something incoherent to himself. Then he looks at me.

"I hated seeing the Phangirls being like that to you on Twitter. Calling you rude things, saying rude things. I had to avoid social media so I wouldn't get angry. But seeing that shit on my liveshow, it made me angry. I had to stand up for you. I really care.

"Charlotte, what I'm trying to say . . . you're one of my best friends," he says. He mumbles so quietly I can barely hear him. I know he's nervous because he keeps running his fingers through his hair every few seconds. "You're my best friend that is female, and . . . and I've known you for three years, and I know for a fact that we both are single and . . . God, I sound like a fucking idiot. I've liked you for almost three years. Like like-like. Will you be my girlfriend?"

I open my mouth and close it again, refusing to meet his brown eyes with my own. I'm trying to process this. Daniel James Howell, my best friend of three years and the YouTube celebrity with a couple million girls who would kill to meet him. He is asking me to go on a date with me. He likes me. Do I like him? I already know the answer.

Dan is my squishy bear friend. He has the cutest curly hobbit hair ever. I always find comfort in his hugs. He and I have done so many things together. Watched movies, just the two of us. Sing karaoke. Snuggled on a couch. I realize I do like him.

"Dan," I whisper. "I . . . "

"It's okay if you say no!" he quickly and awkwardly adds. His face, so desperate and sad, looks like that of a sad, begging puppy. I shut him up by hugging him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Shut up, Daniel Howell, you spork. Of course I'll be your girlfriend." I nuzzle my head in the crook of his neck and he wraps his arms around my shoulders.

Ae sit there, on a bench beneath a lamp post at the center of the park. Above us, the stars are twinkling, the moon is shining. On usual nights, I would point out the constellations to Dan or whoever is with me. But right now, I'm too lost in Dan's embrace to think about that. I feel like I've been holding on to a deep, dark secret and haven't even admitted it to myself until now. And now I have.

o.0.O.0.o

Dan and I end up going to the shops and buying milk and cereal. Halfway through the walk as we return to his flat, I realize we are holding hands. I don't say anything. I kind of like it this way. Our fingers intertwined and us, walking side by side on the street.

We take the stairs up and Dan opens the door with his keys. When we enter the flat, Phil is still in his room. Probably asleep. I check my phone, and the time is twelve seventeen. It's past midnight. God.

Dan places the bag of groceries on the kitchen counter and puts the milk in the fridge before leaning against the counter. He and I make sure to keep quiet because Phil is most likely to be sleeping.

"I'll head home now, Dan. Thank you for the lovely night," I say, waving before turning and heading toward the door. I hear Dan chuckle a bit behind me, causing me to turn around and glare at him. "What?"

"It's just that I thought you hate being out at a time like this, right?" he says, smirking and pushing himself off from the counter and walking toward me. "You can stay here tonight. Or every night, for that matter."

"Dan . . ." I say. "I stay here so often . . . I practically live here. But I have to head home. And even if I chose to sleep here tonight, I have nothing to wear to bed or tomorrow."

Dan shrugs. "I'll give you something. I know you're scared of going out on your own at night. Plus, I'd love it if you stayed." He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into a tight hug, but it's slightly awkward because he's so tall.

"Okay, Daniel, I'll stay." I duck, slipping under his arms, and laugh. "Should I sleep on the couch tonight, or . . ."

"No!" Dan says, grinning his face off. His dimples are actually deeper than the Atlantic Ocean. "How about my bed?" He winks at me, and I stare at him. "Okay, sorry. That wink was a joke. Please do stay, but not sexually."

"Not sexually, Howell," I say facing him. His arms are crossed, but I untangle them and hold his hands in mine. They're surprisingly warm. Dan squeezes my hand. "Bed time," I whisper in his ear.

He pulls my by one hand to his room and closes the door behind us. He gives my his No-Face shirt, which I returned to him from that day a week ago. I change into it in the bathroom and come out. When I return to Dan's room, he is wearing a pair of boxers. I try to look anywhere but at him, but I hear him chuckle from across the room.

"Are you impressed?" he asks sarcastically, and I laugh a bit. He laughs too. Mostly because he actually looks really good. No matter how much he puts his own body down, he looks good. But you know the people who hate getting compliments because it makes them feel nice. Both Dan and I are those people. So I say nothing. He laughs anyway.

"What's that face?" he asks, and I swear I can hear his smirk.

"What face? There's no face."

"Your face. It's going a bit red around the cheeks. And you're smiling."

"Shut up, Howell." I try to keep myself from smiling, but it's impossible. "I'm not smiling. Your mum's smiling." He laughs.

Seconds later, were lying in bed beneath the covers, smiling face to face. I'm sure my smile is big. Dan's is enormous. His dimples are so prominent.

"Good night, Charlotte," he whispers, eyes slowly closing and his voice so low and soft like a bedtime song, meant to lull you to sleep.

"Good night, Dan." I'm instantly tired. I think we both are. But I can't fall asleep. Lying there in bed with Dan, I can only watch him sleep. His eyes are closed and he looks so calm. His brown hair is so much curler than usual.

When I finally feel my eyelids grow heavy, I feel Dan's fingertips brush against the back of my hand. Sleep finally overtakes me just as Dan weaves his fingers with mine. The warmth runs through my body, up to my head.


	10. Chapter 10-Coffee and Future

**Chapter 10 - Coffee and Future**

I wake up, alone, in Dan's bed. At first, I'm surprised and confused to be sleeping in his clothes. Then I remember last night. Sitting on that bench in the park with Dan, leaning against him, hugging him. Returning home with him after shopping, hand in hand. Loads of flirting and finally, falling asleep, side by side. I feel my heart beating.

I throw myself out of bed and stretch before heading out of the room. I'm thankful that Dan's No-Face shirt is so big, it reaches to my knees. When I reach the kitchen, I see Dan making pancakes and Phil sitting at the counter, mug in hand.

"Hey Charlotte," Phil says, waving. He has his glasses on and his blue and white star shirt.

Dan turns around and smiles at me. I blush, wave back at Phil and sit next to him. Dan places a plate of pancakes on the table, and the three of us eat them. They're absolutely delicious.

After breakfast, I head to Dan's room to change into yesterday's clothes. I plan on heading home later to change and get ready for the day. Just as I bend down to pick up my clothes, I hear the door creak. I turn and see Dan, leaning against the doorframe. He has his black and grey shirt on and ripped, black jeans.

"You look nice in my shirts, Charlotte," he says, eyebrows raised. He has that look in his eye, full of mischief. "You should wear them more often."

"Shut up, Howell." Damn. I've been saying that exact phrase a lot lately, and I'm assuming I'll have to say that a lot more.

"Should we have nicknames for each other? Like couples in those movies?" I know he's just joking. We've only been together for less than twelve hours. "You can be Squish or something, and I can be Bear." I look him in the face and frown.

"Squish? Really? That's more of a name I'd have for you," I say. "Does Phil know?"

"Not yet. I woke up before him and told him I slept on the couch last night. Tell him later with me, okay?"

"Dan, I have to go home."

"Why?" Dan says, his voice so whiny.

"First of all, I've got to change—"

"Just wear my clothes," Dan says, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Like I said, you look so sexy in my shirts." What he is saying makes me want to laugh, but I can only think of one question.

"Dan, what about the fans?"

He pulls away and looks me in the eyes. He knows what I'm thinking. What if the fans find out?

"Y/N, who cares what they think?" he asks, holding me at arms length. "I adore you, and if the fans don't like you, well then fuck that. Fuck everything. You're still amazing."

I can feel my cheeks growing hot. "Alright, Dan. Let me go home and change and then I'll come back. We can tell Phil about us later. How about the three of us go out for coffee together?"

Dan pouts his lip. "Fine."

I kick Dan out of the room so I can change in privacy. I pull on my clothes from yesterday and, after hugging Dan and Phil, I head home. The tube isn't as packed as usual since most people are working. I need to get a job, soon.

I arrive home and head to my room. I shower and change into a pair of new, clean jeans and a blue, plaid shirt. Then I check the time on my phone. It's already ten o'clock. I have to meet the boys at Starbucks in two hours. I have time to hang out. Or rather, check Tumblr.

Eventually, I glance at the time. Its eleven forty-five. Eyes wide, I jump up, pull on a black coat and my shoes, and run down the stairs and out. Thankfully, I reach Starbucks by eleven fifty-two. Neither of the boys are there yet. I order a caramel frappuccino and find myself a table to sit. Then, I see Dan and Phil, walking into the coffee shop. Dan sees me first and I wave them over.

"Hey Charlotte," Phil says as they sit down. Dan winks at me and I look away, feeling my face grow red.

"Hey Phil. Did you two order anything?" I ask.

"Not yet. I'll go order." Dan stands up and stands in line, hands in his pockets. He's so tall, half a foot taller than everyone else in line.

"Dan said you two wanted to tell me something," Phil says, grinning. "I have suspicions already."

"Do you?" I ask. "Well, what do you think it is?" Just as Phil opens his mouth, Dan sits down next next to him, handing him a caramel mocha.

"Hi Dan," Phil says, smiling sweetly.

"So Phil," Dan says, reaching across the table and grabbing my hand. My heart leaps a bit, and Phil grins widely. "Charlotte and I finally got together."

Phil slams his hands down on the table excitedly. "I knew it!" he half yells, his smile stretching from ear to ear. "Something was up when I woke up this morning. Dan looked so happy when he was cooking, and there was some tension in the kitchen during breakfast!"

I laugh a bit and Dan let's go of my hand. I'm happy that Phil doesn't mind.

"So Charlotte," Phil says. "How long have you liked Dan?"

I blush. I really don't know how long. Probably a one or two years ago. But I only really realized it last night, in the park, on the bench with Dan. "A while."

"Dan here has liked you since you beat us both in Mario Kart two years ago." He nudges Dan with his shoulder.

"Shut up," I hear Dan mutter nervously, and a smile.

"So when are you going to move in with us?"

I freeze. I never considered it. I don't exactly love my own flat, with crumbling walls, please peeling wallpaper and cracked ceilings. But I never thought of living with Dan and Phil. It would be nice, yes, but I won't be able to help pay rent.

I shake my head. "I can't." Dan's face falls and I feel so bad. Phil looks concerned.

"Why can't you? Is it about rent? Don't worry about it," he says, patting my shoulder. I smile at him, and then at Dan.

"Okay, I'll move in with you two next week," I finally say. Dan's face instantly brightens up like the sun. "But I'll need to get a job this year. An actual job."

"You could be a teacher," Phil suggests." You studied for it, didn't you? Plus, you've said you either want to be an author or a teacher. Maybe you can be both."

"We'll see."


	11. Chapter 11-Liveshow and the Phandom

**Aww, I'm sad. Thus is the last chapter. Oh well. I enjoyed writing it! Thank you to my few supporters!**

o.0.O.0.o

 **Chapter 11 - Liveshow and the Phandom**

It's been a day since I moved in with Dan and Phil. When I told my mum over the phone, she wasn't happy. But she said nothing negative. She told me she supported my plan to be both a writer and a teacher. Then she hung up. Next I called my brother Tom. Tom was supportive. He told me to tell the boys hi for him.

I've moved into Dan's room. I have actual clothing to change into, but Dan insists that I wear his No-Face shirt to bed.

Sitting on our bed, I check the time. Over the past week, Dan has been busy. He posted the Top Dan Memes of 2017 video the other night. I remember helping him write the outline for the video and pick the best memes. Trust me, this YouTube thing is loads harder than it looks. I'm looking at you, Tumblr.

I'm thinking hard about something Dan asked me when he woke up this morning. He had asked me to join him in his liveshow, which would happen later tonight. I still have a couple hours to decide, but it's hard decision. I recall the conversation from this morning.

o.0.O.0.o

"I'd love it if you joined me in tonight's liveshow," he had said groggily. We were still in bed, even though it was already ten in the morning.

I bit my lip. "Dan . . ."

"You don't have to if you don't want," he reassured me.

"No, that's not it," I said, shaking my head. I'm not saying no. I'm not saying yes, either. "It's just . . ."

My first instinct was to say no. I already know that a majority of the fans dislike me, even though some support me. And by being in a liveshow, I'm putting myself up on display, allowing them to taunt me to my face. I'll be able to see the chats. Imagine the humiliation. And imagine if they discovered Dan and I were together? I'd be hated beyond compare. I've seen hate comments about Katrific, saying she'd get between Dan and Phil. And now that I am with Dan, the Phandom would blow up.

Then again, I'm fully aware of the Phangirls that don't hate me. I've seen them, peppered around Tumblr. Some have even said they wouldn't mind if I was with one of the boys, specifically Phil because of that leaked picture in which I am holding his hand.

I know that the Phangirls would like to be kept aware of both Dan and Phil's relationship status. I also know that Dan is pretty famous. He cares a lot about his fans loads, and I know that he would hate to lie to them. I also know that Dan wants to make it clear to them that it's none of their business who he is dating.

"I'll think about it," I had said, glancing at him. He looked relieved that didn't say no right away.

"If you really don't want to do it, you don't have to," he reminded me, and I laughed.

"No really," I said. "I'll think about."

"Let me know at like ten in the evening, because I start my liveshow at around eleven." He had stretched and gone to the kitchen. I remember hearing him shout, finding Phil pouring his cereal into his mouth.

o.0.O.0.o

I hear Dan open the door and slip his shoes off. He and Phil had gone shopping because Phil finished Dan's cereal. Dan walks into our shared room, shivering slightly. It's cold outside, I know. When he sees me, he smiles, running a hand through his hair.

"Hey, Charlotte," he says, sitting down next to me. "What are you doing?"

"Thinking."

"About what?"

"About if I want to do the liveshow or not."

Dan presses his lips together tightly, and I know he's thinking hard.

"And?" he asks. I try to avoid looking at him, but I catch a glimpse of his pleading, puppy-dog eyes and have no choice but to say yes.

"Okay. I'll do it."

Dan looks so relieved and pulls me into a tight hug. His skin is icy cold, his hands and face, but I don't mind. "Thank you, Charlotte," he whispers into my hair. "Help me set up, will you?"

o.0.O.0.o

"So do I just sit here?"

"Yeah."

"What . . . what am I supposed to do right now?"

Dan pulls my chair closer to his so that the screen can see me better. We will be starting the liveshow together, and Dan will introduce me to the Phangirls as Phil's friend and Dan's girlfriend, Charlotte. Neither of us have said it, but I know we're both slightly worried about what the outcome will be. Dan taps a few buttons on the phone and we can see ourselves on the computer screen. I'm at Dan's side, where Phil usually sits during their gaming videos. I bite my lip, but Dan seems fearless when he opens video.

"Hey guys, Dan here," he says, smiling at the camera. I can already see the chat going wild on the computer, and I begin feel insecure. I nervously tuck a lock if hair behind my ear while Dan continues talking.

"So, you all know me. Danny, Daniel, DJ Howell and whatnot," he says, waving his hands in the air while he speaks. "But none of you know Charlotte. Yes, she's the girl from Cat's Tweet. Most of you thought she was Phil's girlfriend, because she was holding his hand in the picture." He laughs nervously and glances at me. "No, she's actually my girlfriend and is just really good friends with Phil. Say hi, Charlotte." He nudges me a bit, and I blink.

"Oh, hello Internet," I say, waving weakly at the camera. "I'm Charlotte. Dan's girlfriend." I feign a smile and glance at Dan.

He leans in and examines the chat. "Someone's asked when we met. We met when I was like, what, twenty? Twenty-one? You were nineteen, right? And you were friends with Phil when you were kids, right?"

"Yeah," I reply, "Well, technically my brother was friends with Phil first. And then I was. And then I met Dan."

"But we only got together like a week ago," Dan says, grinning at the camera. His smile suddenly fades. The chat is going absolutely nuts, but I can catch a glimpse of the one in ten hate comments directed to me. "Guys, calm down," Dan says next to me. "She's actually a really lovely girl. I might make more videos with her if she agrees. Now, any more questions?"

I stare at the chat, trying to find a good, positive question. "Someone asked why I was holding Phil's hand in the picture. Well, I'm, I got scared because I knew that if the picture was posted, I'd probably be mobbed by the Phandom. I mean, I've been staying hidden for, like, three, four, five years."

I sit back in my chair. I feel loads less scared than before. Dan and I answer questions for half an hour. They vary from questions about me and Dan's relationships to if I'd ever feature in a Dan video.

"Someone asked what music I like," I say. "A variety. I like Set It Off, Muse, My Chemical Romance, Panic! At The Disco, Michael Jackson. But Set It Off is awesome."

"'Dan,' Paulina asks, 'why don't you ever talk about Set It Off?'" Dan breaks into a grin. "I've never mentioned them because it was Charlotte who introduced me to them, and since she was like a . . . deep, dark, suppressed secret, it didn't feel right to say I discovered them on my own."

The chat explodes into 'aww', '3' and numerous cute things. Some asks who my favourite YouTubers are and I laugh.

"Well, danisnotonfire is pretty cool. Oh, I'm sorry. I meant Daniel Howell is pretty hot," I say, shooting Dan a wink. "AmazingPhil is a great YouTuber. Shout-out to him. I also love Kurt Hugo Schneider, Kyutie, Reaction Time, Game Time, Free Time. God, there are so many good YouTubers. But DanAndPhilGAMES is my favourite." Dan laughs his hilarious hyena laugh, and I just smile

Dan watches silently as I talk. Part of me wants to tell him, "Dan, this is danisnotinteresting, not charlotteisnotinteresting." The other part of me, the winning part, is enjoying my time bonding with the Phandom. Someone in the chat says 'Heart-Eyes Howell' and I had to break into a smile. Dan doesn't audibly react beside me. Maybe he didn't see that comment.

Eventually, Dan announces that it's eleven forty-five, and time to finish the liveshow. He and I wave goodbye to the viewers and Dan shuts down the show. We sit in our chairs, an awkward silence between us.

"That went well," Dan says, breaking the silence.

"Yeah."

"They seemed to like you."

"Yeah. They did."

"You should join me in my liveshows more often."

I look at him. He does indeed have that Heart-Eyes Howell look on his face. "I'll try," I respond. "Damn, it's late. Bedtime."

I reach my arms up to stretch, and then get up. I change in the bathroom, and when I re-enter our room, Dan is lying beneath the covers. I nuzzle myself beneath the covers, against him, and as he wraps his arms around me, I slowly feel myself drawing closer to sleep.

"Night Charlotte," Dan whispers. "Thank you for joining my liveshow."

"Thank you for making me join."


End file.
